Meet the Qiet Controller-Part 2

Have you ever had an amazing idea that was so big, you just knew this could be life changing? All of us have had these strokes of brilliance in our lives and they happen from time to time. You know what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about when you’re minding your own business and you have a sudden stroke of genius. Maybe it’s an idea for a business, a product, a way of doing something better or easier. You start to get excited about the possibilities and your mind is going 100 miles an hour looking at all the possible scenarios.

Then, out of nowhere, you have this little voice inside your head that starts sending you messages. You know the messages I’m talking about.

You start to hear that you can’t do it!

You start hearing all the reasons it won’t work. Your idea is stupid. You don’t have the ability to get this off the ground. You don’t have the background, the finances, the education to make this thing work. You start hearing messages like, this won’t work, nothing you’ve ever tried before worked, what do you think will make this any different?

Let me introduce you to the one that’s been running your life!

You’ve just heard from the silent controller. This little voice inside you has been dictating your actions and inactions for most of your adult life. Anytime you start to step up, or step out of your comfort zone, this little voice is there to ensure that you don’t get too far out there.

This little voice has many names. Some people will call it their ego. Some will call it the gate keeper and others might say it’s the voice of reason. What ever you decide to call it is up to you. For the purpose of this book, we’ll refer to is as your ego (mostly because it’s shorter and easier to write).

Your ego has a specific job description. It’s a master at doing it’s job. Even though you’re rarely aware of his or her presence, it’s always there. It’s always lurking in the background, looking for an opportunity to slow you down or knock you back on track.

Your ego is so subtle that you don’t even realize it exists. But it does exist and it is responsible for keeping you stuck in your life. It’s sole purpose is to protect you from the unknown. To keep you safe and secure in your life as it is now.

You see, your life may be pretty good or it may suck right now. Even if you think your life sucks, your ego is comfortable with your sucky life and wants to do anything it can to keep you in that sucky life. Your ego is scared to death of change.

To the ego, change is dangerous. It’s new and unknown territory and it’s not safe. So the ego goes to work on you anytime you start to think about making changes in your life. Your ego is quick to quietly tell you why you shouldn’t make those changes.

The worst part is that even when you know on a conscious level that the changes you’re considering will make your life better, easier and happier, your ego isn’t convinced and will fight with all it has to get you back to what has been normal. Your ego doesn’t understand the value of change and therefore is totally against any change you might want to make.

So in a subtle and quiet whisper, your ego goes to work on you. It tells you that you can’t do it. It tells you that you have failed in the past so why do you think you won’t fail this time. It tells you that your life will be horrible if you change. It does everything it can to convince you that you need to stay where you are.

Since the ego is so subtle in it’s methods, we don’t even recognize what it’s telling us. However, on a subconscious level, we are listening and thinking about everything the ego says. We are being led by a force that has no vision for the future.

Your ego is the voice of your past. It is the voice of a subconscious mind that has been the database of your life. This part of your mind is the storage been for every experience, every sight, every sound, every conversation and story you’ve ever been exposed to.

Even more important is that your subconscious mind has stored every feeling you’ve ever felt. Your subconscious has no filters. There is nothing to keep your subconscious from recording everything that’s ever happened to you, even when it was bad.

So your subconscious is the hard drive of your mind and the ego is it’s voice. The ego is it’s way of sharing the data that is stored on your hard drive.

So here is where it get’s sticky.

Since your subconscious has no filters, it doesn’t make a decision about what information is valuable to you and what isn’t. It just takes in everything that’s ever happened and stores it. It also takes in how you felt about everything that’s ever happened in your life.

So, suppose you were playing in your living room when you were a child and your mother was in the kitchen talking on the phone to someone. Let’s imagine that you missed your mother and went running into the kitchen to find her and when you did, she shushed you. Imagine that your mom, in a stern voice told you to be quiet on go back in the living room.

Now as adults, we can see that this whole scenario was simple enough. We can see that your mom was on the phone and when you ran into the kitchen and excitedly started to talk to her, she shushed you because you were interrupting what might have been an important conversation.

However, to a small child that shushing might have been taken out of context. You might have interpreted that shushing as a way of saying that what you have to say isn’t important. You may have felt that it meant that your mother didn’t love you. Maybe you felt that your mother wanted you to go away and be somewhere else.

Remember you’re a small child, maybe 3 or 4 years old. You didn’t have the ability to access the situation and look at all the facts behind your moms reaction. You simply attached a meaning to this single event and went on about your life.

Well your subconscious mind recorded that event. It recorded every second of that event including what your mom said to you and the irritated tone of her voice. Your subconscious also recorded how that made you feel. Your subconscious recorded every thought you had when that event happened. It recorded every meaning you attached to every event that ever happened in your life.

You may be asking, “so what’s that got to do with me as an adult and why I’m not living the life of my dreams?”

Here is the answer to that question. Your subconscious recorded this event when you were a child and it has no filters. So your subconscious will send your ego to give you a talking to, anytime you approach a situation where those same feelings might come up.

Here is what I mean.

Let’s say that you, as an adult have been assigned a presentation by your boss, that you must give to your peer group. This is your job and you have no choice. Now your little voice goes to work telling you that you can’t do it. People will yell at you. People don’t want to hear what you have to say. People don’t even want you in the same room with them.

Your ego is giving you a message based on the feelings you attached to an event that happened when you were a small child. Your subconscious has sent your ego to help keep you safe. It want’s your ego to talk you out of giving that presentation based on how you felt about this single event.

I know, you may be thinking this is a real stretch.

However, think about it for a minute. How many times have you been stopped dead in your tracks when you knew you should move forward? How many times have you had an inspired idea and then never could get any traction?

How many times have you started something that you knew could be life changing, then you got stuck in researching. Or maybe you started talking about the idea to your friends and family and it was struck down enough that you let it pass.

How many times have you not done what you knew you should do because you had some fear, some invisible block that kept you from moving forward?

Each time this happened in your life, was a direct result of your ego talking you out of doing what you knew was best for you. It was your subconscious mind bringing up the old stories, the old attachments to events that have happened in your life.

Maybe you’re afraid of standing out in the crowd. Maybe you prefer to play small when you know if you did step up and let your light shine, your entire life could transform. What do think is holding you back? It’s your ego working overtime to keep you safe and secure.

You may not like your life the way it is, but you are familiar with it and know that you can stay in this life as it is and still make it. Your ego knows that too, and will do what it can to keep you safe in a life that may be far less than what you desire or deserve.

Now that we’ve met the enemy and understand how and why it’s there and does what it does, we can look at our options. You see, once you understand what you are facing, you can now make conscious choices about how you choose to deal with this foe from this point forward.

So let’s get started looking at our options for dealing with our quiet controller.

1 Comment

  • john & jackie

    Reply Reply March 10, 2016

    Hi Dale, simply put sooooooooooooooooo perfectly. I wish the Fuck that it could have been longer. I could have read this for hours. Thanks so much for putting things in such a straight forward way. Our loss if we dont appreciate thee importance of what you stated.
    The situation you made a point of, was me at a young age many times.
    If only my Parents had been Educated, on how to bring up Children. My Wife Jackie thinks same.
    Well done Dale, cannot wait till your next write up.
    Have a great Day, John & Jackie, Spain.

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